


Little League

by pleasejustthisonce_stay



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Athletes, Canon Lesbian Relationship, Childhood Friends, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Enemies to Lovers, Mild Sexual Content, Mutual Pining, Party, Slow Burn, Sports, True Love, University
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:08:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 18,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24277882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pleasejustthisonce_stay/pseuds/pleasejustthisonce_stay
Summary: For the promises, we can't keep to the ones we love the mostAdora and Catra spent fourteen years together, fourteen years spent loving each other, only to be thrown away because of a broken promise. After four years that were spent hating the other person and shoving down the feelings they once had, they're forced together once again---Angsty college AU, proving that the heart will get what it wants even if it takes longer than expected
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Bow/Glimmer (She-Ra)
Comments: 31
Kudos: 237





	1. prologue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i made a playlist dedicated to this fic! each chapter is based off of a song on the playlist. this week is ‘little league’ by conan gray!
> 
> you can find the link to the playlist here!  
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7z39YL32HraNWzj3HHvVhQ?si=QdmoYUSQQBurPhvwUlt3bQ

She watched as her best friend was pushed off the slide and laughed at by the fourth-grader standing over her. Adora ran to her side, listening as small sobs came from the girl. She sat her up and wiped the strayed tears from her face and gave her a small smile.

“I’ll never let them hurt you again Catra,” She brushed Catra’s wild mane of hair from her eyes and placed a hand on her cheek.

“Promise?” She said at almost a whisper

“I promise,” Adora brought her in for a hug as if sealing their fates together.

\---

Although forgetful of many things, Adora never forgot the promise she’d made to Catra all those years ago. It had been some time since the two of them were separated, but every time she was asked to make one, she was still reminded of the wild child she had called her best friend.

Sometimes she missed her, regretted what she had said all those years ago; what she had said to her the last time she saw her before leaving everything behind. She would do anything to say sorry, anything to get back the girl she once loved, but it was too late for that now. Too late to earn the forgiveness of someone who was too far gone, someone who by now would have forgotten her.

It was freshman year when Adora got the news that her family was moving to Brightmoon, hours away from Horde, hours away from the girl she had called her best friend for so long. She was too afraid to tell Catra and silently hoped that something would go wrong, that they would be given a reason to stay, but they never did.

Her promise to Catra always came back to her, especially since in the end the only person she needed protection from was herself. It had been three years since she had last spoken to Catra, or at least spoken to her and gotten a response. After about six months of trying, she stopped trying, stopped trying to win Catra back.  
The rest is history, Adora moved and made friends quickly, tried to forget the sad look she’d seen on her best friend’s face, the best friend who thought she was being abandoned. Adora tried to surround herself with things that she enjoyed. Joining Brightmoon High’s Girls Soccer team, focusing heavily in her classes, anything that she could do to forget the girl that didn’t want anything to do with her.

She somehow did or at least had convinced herself that she did. Anything that reminded her of Catra was pushed out of her mind, who had made it easy by blocking anyway that Adora could see her on social media. Pictures and videos were deleted, anything that had some type of sentimental value connect to Catra was uprooted from her life and either thrown away or shoved to a very dark part of her mind.

Her life soon became Catra-free and surrounded by people that she soon found to love with her entire heart. Bow and Glimmer were the first ones to want to be friends with her, the ones who showed her around on her first day and ultimately became her new best friends. People who she wanted in her life until the very end, but in a different way that she wanted Catra. Maybe it was better that way.

Adora never thought that after all this time, seeing Catra would affect her. That she would stop dead in her tracks, jaw dropped to the floor, frozen with nervousness. That after all this time she would still get butterflies in her stomach reminding her that she always saw Catra as more than just a friend. That no one ever made her feel the same way that Catra did. That somehow the two of them would end up at the same university.

But there she saw her, and she was too scared to do anything at all, too scared that the feelings she had once had for her would come rushing back. Adora feared they already had.


	2. the cut that always bleeds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The best friend squad gets to Etheria University and the feelings Adora had been pushing down come back with a vengeance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i made a playlist dedicated to this fic! each chapter is based off of a song on the playlist. this week is ‘the cut that always bleeds’ by conan gray
> 
> you can find the link to the playlist here!  
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7z39YL32HraNWzj3HHvVhQ?si=QdmoYUSQQBurPhvwUlt3bQ

Friday, August 20th

Adora, Bow, and Glimmer all packed into the car like a can of sardines, surrounded by the things that would get them through their first year at Etheria University. Although it was a tight fit, taking Glimmer’s mom's minivan was the best choice that they have ever made.

It was a four-hour drive from Brightmoon to Etheria, where the three of them would be spending their college years. They promised each other when Adora first moved to Brightmoon to stay together and had kept that promise through senior year. Now it was August and the three of them still kept that promise, they regretted nothing about it either.

The fear of forgetting each other or abandoning the best friendships that the three of them had ever had. This may have been what prompted them to stay together, or maybe it was the fear of not meeting people who would replace what they once had. Adora had already done this once before, abandoned someone who she once cared very deeply for, and didn’t want to do it ever again. Not to people who took her in and meant so much to her

She cursed herself for even thinking about her. _This is a good day, no need to get yourself all sad_ , she reminded herself. Glimmer, who was driving seemed to notice and gave her a look she couldn’t read.

“Everything okay?” Glimmer always cared; she was the mom between the three of them and it was comforting knowing someone always had her back.

“Peachy keen, Glim,” She did her best to give a smile and before Glimmer could say anything else, Bow got in between the two of them and turned up the music so it was blasting.

“I LOVE THIS SONG,” He screamed beginning to sing (more like scream) along.

Glimmer and Adora laughed and couldn’t help but sing along with him. Adora felt the guilt roll off her shoulder, whatever bad she had been feeling washed away as she was engulfed in singing along with her two favorite people in the entire world.

By the time the song was over the three of them pulled up to the student parking lot of Etheria University and although she had been there several times for soccer camps and orientation, she couldn’t help but give a big grin.

They parked as close as they could to their dorm buildings and got out to stretch. Four hours in the car with no stops because it was impossible to get out without stuff filling your seat up was enough to give you leg cramps that never felt stretched out enough. A guide came up to them and smiled, clipboard in hand she began handing them information sheets along with where to get their room keys and other important things that would help them on their first weekend on campus.

They began to unload the car, putting their things in two piles. Adora and Glimmer were rooming together and due to the school’s tight restrictions with roommates, Bow was left with finding one. It took him a while, but when he found one, he swore the guy was a good match for him. The two of them trusted him and promised as soon as the three of them were done setting up their rooms they would meet up again and go grab lunch.

“I can’t wait to experience all of this with you guys,” Bow said bringing them in for a hug, “Best friend squad does college!”

The three of them laughed and gave short goodbyes knowing they would soon be reunited.

Glimmer and Adora made their way through the quad and into the building where they would be staying to get the keys to the dorm room. It was pretty full, kids alongside their families excited for what adventures would await them.

“I’ll grab the keys, maybe find somewhere to sit it might be a while,” Adora shrugged and slumped against the wall, she was already exhausted, and she hadn’t even done the harrowing task of setting up her room the way she wanted to.

She looked through her phone for a few moments, trying to get through the anxiety of being so far from home for the first time in what felt like forever. Glimmer, Bow, and her had gone on vacation over the summer, but it was always with the intent of coming home, that soon she would be back in her comfortable bed with her parents only a room away. It would be months before she would be home again, it was a big change.

Time passed and eventually, Glimmer came back with the keys to their room.

“To new adventures,” She smiled and handed Adora one of the keys.

They lugged what they could upstairs and held their breaths as they opened their door for the first time. They would share a common area but had separate bedrooms and bathrooms. As far as dorm rooms went, this was a luxury.

Adora stepped into her room and was careful to keep all of her things in one spot so she would be able to find everything when setting it up. She played music through a small speaker that she was gifted for graduation and bounced as she started putting things into their place. Sheets on the bed, plants on the windowsill, she even went through the trouble of hanging lights around her room even though she had left all of her wall decorations in her Glimmer’s.

“Adora!!” Glimmer came bursting through the door with a digital camera in her hand, “Get in here!”

She came rushing over and took a few photos with Glimmer. It made her tear up, she couldn’t believe how old she was, that she would finally be doing the things she loves with no restrictions and study something she found so interesting. It was like she was living a dream.

“I’m gonna grab the rest of my stuff from the car, need anything?” Adora slipped her key into her pocket and started heading for the door.

Glimmer shook her head, “No, but thank you. Maybe check on Bow while you’re out. I already miss him”

She laughed, it was so blatantly obvious how much of a crush Glimmer had on Bow, although to be fair he was crushing on her pretty hard as well. She got to see her best friends fall in love together before her very eyes and maybe they didn’t see it screaming in their faces, but it was a beautiful thing.

She headed down the stairs and ended up in the quad. There were a ton of people there. Booths that the college had set up with clubs and small groups of students in the grass hanging out with each other. Each group was different from the next. Taking a deep breath, she chuckled slowly, she couldn’t believe this would be her home for the next four years.

Then, Adora saw someone, so familiar, yet was from a distant memory. She was linked arm in arm with another woman who was built and had silver hair. They were in a group with four other people, two boys, and two other girls. One of them had a service dog. She couldn’t make out what they were talking about, but someone had said something funny all six of them were laughing.

She kept her eyes on the girl who flashed a smile. A smile she knew all too well. _Catra_. Adora shook her head, it couldn’t be, there was no way that the two of them had ended up at the same university after all these years.

The woman looked up, and their eyes met, her beautiful eyes that were two different colors, it was for sure Catra. She looked older, cut her hair short. It looked good on her, she looked good. Adora’s breath hitched, she felt frozen in place and the same feeling she got when they were younger came back. Catra’s eyes narrowed, but never looked away from Adora, had she known that it was her?

After only a moment, Catra’s eyes looked elsewhere as if seeing Adora hadn’t phased her at all. She continued laughing, still had that dumb grin that drove Adora crazy on her face. She wasn’t sure whether to feel angry or relieved she hadn’t noticed.

Maybe everything that Adora had believed to be true was right, Catra had done the same thing as her, forced herself to forget her best friend and moved on. If that was the case, she had done a better job at it.

She kept watching, ready to walk away, and forget that this had even happened, but something kept her there, still. Catra looked at the girl next to her and grinned at the girl next to her, planting a small kiss on her lips and leaning into her chest.

Something boiled in Adora, something she hadn’t felt for a long time. _Jealousy_. Without thinking she ran, far away from the quad, and didn’t stop until she reached Glimmer’s car. She had forced herself to believe that she over her because the pain of wanting to be with her was too much, but she wasn’t over her at all.

She lost Catra and ended up with the short end of the stick. Catra had forgotten all about her and was kissing someone else, giving the same look to her as she did to Adora. It hurt and she wished it didn’t. She wished she could snap her fingers and the weight of guilt would be off her shoulders, that she could forget about Catra altogether.

But no matter how hard she tried, Catra always came back. The feelings were always there, and she wished that they weren’t. She wished she had said something that fateful day instead of just walking away, but she didn’t know how and everything she had tried to forget was haunting her.  
  



	3. because of you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora confides in her best friends and they go to party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i made a playlist dedicated to this fic! each chapter is based off of a song on the playlist. this week is ‘because of you’ by lewis watson!
> 
> you can find the link to the playlist here!  
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7z39YL32HraNWzj3HHvVhQ?si=QdmoYUSQQBurPhvwUlt3bQ

Friday, August 20th

Adora felt numb, like no matter what she tried to think of Catra always came back, it was always her. She believed that she was over her, that coping in the way that she did was the best way to do it, they trying to erase her from her memory was a healthy way to do it. She felt too empty to cry and too numb to go right up to her and try to make things right. _It's not like it would matter anyway, my chance was lost the moment I waited to tell her I was leaving_.

After a few moments to herself, Adora sent a text to the group chat, she needed support and she needed it now. Bow and Glimmer knew about Catra or at least the parts that Adora told them. She told them about their history about how she left in the worst way possible, how Catra put all her walls up, that once she moved nothing between them was ever the same. She left out some details, about what Catra said to her that day, about how she lost the one person she truly loved.  
\---  
 _Four Years Ago_

Adora felt a weight on her chest, one that she knew wouldn’t go away until she finally told the truth to Catra. The two of them were walking home, hand in hand like they had done every day since the school year had started. She remembered when they held hands for the first time over the summer, Adora’s heart nearly jumped out of her chest.

Neither of them knew what it meant, neither of them had come out and said that it meant something either. To both of them, it was just platonic, something that all close friends did. That’s what they were right? Close friends, so maybe Catra would understand.

Catra was droning on about something that some said in her science class, but Adora was hardly paying attention. Too lost in her thoughts about how to tell her the truth. Catra laughed, but then looked right at her and gave a look of concern.

“What’s up?” They kept walking, Adora felt her heart sink.

“There’s something I need to tell you,”  
 **\---**  
 **Best Friend Squad!**

**Adora: Something really bad happened, need you guys.**   
**Glimmer: What happened??**   
**Glimmer: R U OK?**   
**Bow: Where you at love? I’ll be there in an instant.**   
**Adora: Glimmer’s car, now.**

It only took a few minutes for the two of them to get to the car, Adora collapsed against the side, she felt like she was about to cry, that once her best friends were there all bets were off. They sat down on either side of her and pulled her into a side hug. The only thing she said was 'Catra' and the tears came, the two of them just listened to her cry. Bow ran his hand through her hair trying to calm her, Glimmer drawing shapes on her arm very softly.

They didn’t push her; it wasn’t the first time they had seen her like this and knew she needed time to piece everything together. Five, ten, fifteen minutes past before her cries came to a halt and her breathing returned to normal. The three of them stood, Bow helping Adora into the backseat and sliding in next to her, his arm wrapped around her.

“Let’s get some lunch, how does that sound Adora,” Glimmer finally said, starting the car and looking at her two friends in the back seat.

She only nodded, thoughts of only Catra flooding her mind. Bow’s grip tightened on her and she leaned into him. She did her best not to start crying again, the girl wasn’t worth her tears. Her friends knew how badly she was hurt after moving to Brightmoon; it wasn't until junior year that Adora came out and even then she didn't say anything about seeing Catra that way. All they knew how much moving broke her, how she lost her best friend in the world 

Soon they pulled into a small restaurant and got out of the car. They were seated quickly and both Glimmer and Bow gave her sympathetic smiles. She knew them, they weren’t going to force anything out of her, she had to be the one to tell them what was going on.

It wasn’t until they got their drinks that Adora spilled everything that happened. She told them about the glances that they shared, how it seemed like Catra didn’t even recognize her, how she gave a smile she felt was only reserved for her. She left out what sent her down a spiral, seeing Catra kiss someone who wasn't her.

“It’s been four years Adora…” Glimmer is mindlessly stirring her drink, trying to not make her more upset, “I don’t like her one bit, it was so fucked up what she did, but you can’t still be hoping she’s attached to you, not after what she did”

Part of Adora wishes she didn’t feel like somehow Catra still felt the same way she did all those years ago. She didn’t want Catra to hurt the way she did, she wouldn’t wish that on anyone, but part of her wishes she wasn’t the only one left with feelings.

“I know I can’t, GOD it’s been so long you’d think I wouldn’t feel this way anymore. That after all this time, I wouldn't still want her” Bow and Glimmer didn’t say anything, just looked at each other.

Adora wasn't fazed by the fact that she may or may not have admitted she felt something romantic towards Catra. Possibly because she was hoping her story would make more sense, that she wasn't just an attached best friend.

“I think having feelings still is inevitable, you knew her for eight years Adora, those are feelings you never lose,” Bow suggested, glancing at Glimmer

“Nine years actually,” Adora got quiet after that, pushing the food around her plate, too upset to eat.

Maybe, just maybe Bow was right. Feelings like that just don’t go away, no matter how hard you push them away they always come running back. Maybe after all the memories they had together, Catra only felt a platonic love for Adora, it was never anything more. This was the only thought that made sense to her, the only way to move on from what they had is never having those feelings in the first place.

Adora tried to be cheerful for the rest of the lunch, completely changing the subject. They talked about school and being excited to go watch Adora play for Etheria’s soccer team. When she was scouted by the coach, Glimmer and Bow couldn’t keep quiet, excited that their best friend would finally be living her dreams. The moment Adora decided that’s where she was going to attend school, Glimmer and Bow knew they had to be there right beside her. After being scouted and signing she suffered a broken ankle and was out of the game for at least six. She spoke with the coach and they both came to the agreement that Adora would start playing in Spring, giving her more time to heal.

They paid the bill and piled back into the car, Adora pushing what had happened earlier in the afternoon to the back of her mind. When they got back to campus, they put the finishing touches on their dorm and ended up piling into Adora’s bed.

Bow gasped suddenly and jumped from the bed. He did a little dance and then looked right at Adora and Glimmer.

“Ladies! We just got invited to a party,” The two of them laughed at him and sat up on the bed

“Who sent the invite?” Bow smirked.

“My roommate, Seahawk, let’s just say he’s notorious for throwing bangers and ended up renting a hotel room for the weekend,” Bow threw his shoes on quickly, “I’ll be back in twenty! Be ready to party!”

Glimmer and Adora exchanged glances, _best friend squads first college party?_

Adora quickly dressed in high waisted ripped jeans, a black bralette, and a red leather jacket. She even let her hair down and decided to curl her hair. Glimmer came into her room wearing a purple dress which showed off her curves a little bit, maybe Bow would finally make his move.

When Bow showed back up, he was wearing a white V-neck, his classic aviators, and a pair of black jeans. As soon as he opened the door his eyes went big as he took a look at Glimmer. He was speechless, to say the least.

“Wow, uh you… look fantastic,” Glimmer blushed and lightly pushed his shoulder

“You don’t look too bad yourself,” He rubbed the back of his neck, extremely nervous.

Adora smiled, her best friends were in love and she couldn’t believe she was witnessing it before her very eyes. The three of them walked together to the student parking lot and waited for their Uber, who was doing rounds from the campus to the party. The driver tried to get a conversation out of them to find out more about the party, but while Bow and Glimmer gawked at each other, Adora found it close to impossible to focus on anything.

They arrived at the hotel and were quick to get to the suite where Seahawk was hosting his party. Once inside, the three of them chatted a little bit, they weren’t new to the party scene and had gone to quite a few while still living in Brightmoon. After about an hour in, the three of them had drunk quite a bit and Bow and Glimmer ended up dancing, on each other…

Adora kept an eye on them but tried to have fun herself. She ended up getting into a conversation with Seahawk’s girlfriend, Mermista. She was captain of the swim team and talked about how it took about two years before she finally let Seahawk take her on a date. She felt like she was having a good time, but her body language didn’t show it.

After another cup, Adora finally felt it hit, she found herself on the dance floor. She didn’t care about who was around her and just danced. Her friends stopped grinding on each other and danced alongside her, trying to boost her mood even more. She wasn’t sure how long it had been, but eventually, Glimmer and Bow ended up leaving her in the living room.

Adora was unaware of her surroundings, but she felt a body behind her, a body she was grinding on softly to the music. Alcohol was coursing through her veins and she felt like she was melting into the touch of the person behind her. It was if nothing else in that moment mattered, just her and the person behind her.

She was slowly brought back to reality as the song ended. She looked down at her cup which was now empty. She raised the cup to the girl she was dancing with, as if saying, I need another drink. Adora walked to the kitchen and threw out her cup.

She went back into the party and took a seat in an open spot on the couch, she wondered what Bow and Glimmer were doing and chuckled to herself, _probably getting it on._

When she wasn't lost in her thoughts, Adora scanned the room and through her drunken haze saw someone from across the room, someone she knew, someone she didn't want to see. Not here, not now. A moment passed and their eyes finally met.

It was a beautiful girl with two different colored eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope everyone had a great week! i currently have about a third of this fic written, all of it is planned out, just have to get to writing :) feedback and kudos are always appreciated! they keep me going! see you all next week!


	4. backfire at the disco

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora is faced with the past and her best friends help her through it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i made a playlist dedicated to this fic! each chapter is based off of a song on the playlist. this week is ‘backfire at the disco’ by the wombats!
> 
> you can find the link to the playlist here!  
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7z39YL32HraNWzj3HHvVhQ?si=QdmoYUSQQBurPhvwUlt3bQ

Friday, August 20th

Adora wasn’t sure how long she had been looking for, but Catra hadn’t moved a muscle. She was with one of the girls from early, a light-skinned girl with an undercut, her dreadlocks tied behind her head. They both had drinks in their hands, but neither of them seemed to be phased by the alcohol at all. Although, between the alcohol, she already had and seeing Catra her brain wasn’t processing very well.

She couldn’t tell what she was thinking. When they were younger, she could tell her mood just by the angle her smile was at and now she felt like she was looking at a total stranger. They both stayed where they were, just continuing to look at each other. Maybe they were taking in what they had missed after all those years. Catra certainly had aged; her face looked sharper and although it was fuzzy, Adora could make out a tattoo on her arm.

She looked down at her legs and rubbed her eyes, maybe she was just imagining things, seeing Catra two times in one day after four years seemed uncanny. She felt the world around her spinning, how long had it been since she had this much alcohol? She felt her sick to her stomach, like any second she would just expel everything that she had consumed the past few hours. Adora stood from the couch, swaying a little bit and did her best to find the nearest bathroom, avoiding the direction she had seen Catra in.

Deep down, she hoped that if Catra was there at the party that she would follow Adora and try to talk to her but didn’t count on it. When she made it to the bathroom, there was no line; quickly barging through the door, she opened the toilet and purged every toxin out. Her throat burned and her mouth felt dirty, but at least her stomach felt better.

She flushed the toilet and hung her head groaning. Whenever she went to parties with Glimmer and Bow they always stuck together, making sure to set a limit on what they drank so that they wouldn’t end up over the toilet all night, or blacking out, but they were nowhere to be seen and she hadn’t heard from them in who knows how long.

Adora got the bright idea to try and go to find them, even if they had ended up getting lucky, she couldn’t be here anymore, not after the chance of Catra possibly being here. She passed lots of drunk dancing bodies and opened all of the doors over on the west side of the suite. It felt like less of a hotel and more of a penthouse apartment, it seemed surreal that this was somewhere that someone would stay for a short time.

After getting to the end of the corridor, there was still no sign of her best friends and no way she was going to the other end of the suite to find them. She pushed through some people and opened a door to a small empty room, sitting on the bed almost collapsing from exhaustion. She fumbled for her phone which was in her pocket and texted Glimmer.

**Adora: Need to go, where are you and Bow**

She refrained from closing her eyes, knowing that if she did, there was a good chance she would have fallen asleep right then and there. She felt both emotional and physically drained. Usually, when it came to Catra, she was able to push away the feelings forget she ever had them, but something about seeing her made her pine for Catra's attention, something she hadn't wanted for years.

Laying in the dark felt good, it was the first time in a few days where she was finally alone, without anyone around. The last few days in Brightmoon were filled with her parents and friends she knew that she wouldn’t see until the break. The night before they left for Etheria University, Bow and Glimmer stayed the night and the three of them stayed up into late hours of the night just talking about how they finally felt like adults.

Her thoughts were disrupted as her phone buzzed, Glimmer had finally gotten back to her

**Glimmer: Sounds good, meet you in the kitchen**

It took a minute to get up, but Adora breathed a sigh of relief, at least she didn’t have to search anymore. When she left the bedroom, the hallway was fuller than when she had first walked through it, _of course._ She shuffled through the people, tried her best to get through without causing too much destruction on her way. Right as she was about to step into the kitchen, she looked down at her feet and accidentally ran into someone.

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” Adora looked up and her eyes met Catra’s.

Her eyes were filled with hatred, something she hadn’t seen since she last saw her. She had been at the party, Adora would be going to the same school as the girl who broke her heart. She didn’t have a second to think about what to say or do as a drink was thrown into her face. A couple of people around her laughed, and Catra and her friend shoved passed her without a word.

\---

_Four Years Ago_

Adora could barely think the rest of the way home, she was too nervous to look Catra in the eye. The brunette had let go of her hand and crossed her arms, a habit of her to do when she was nervous. She was mumbling to herself, nothing that Adora could make out though. She wished that she had waited, that she could have hand Catra’s hand back in hers.

They finally got back to Catra’s house and into her room, Adora followed quietly behind her. How was she going to tell her best friend that she was moving away? Why did she wait so long to tell the one she loved that she was leaving for a place that was hours away?

Catra put her backpack down and took a seat on her bed, looking at Adora who was standing and still had her backpack on. She didn’t know how to deliver news like this, everything between them was always so, happy.

Neither of them talked for a while, just looked at each other. Eventually, Adora took her backpack off and sat down next to Catra, taking one of her hands in her own. She drew circles around her knuckles slowly. She looked at Catra, taking in every inch of her. Her eyes were Adora’s favorite part of her, one green and one blue, it was the most unique thing she’d ever seen.

Finally, Catra spoke.

“So, you wanted to talk… what’s up?”

\---

Only seconds passed and both Glimmer and Bow had their bodies around her, almost shielding her in a way. Everything around her was hazy, she could barely hear her friends trying to talk to her, their voices drowned out by white noise. Thousands of thoughts flooded her head, after all this time, Catra still hated her guts.

Adora didn’t remember much of the ride home, both of her friends hugging her trying to make some type of communication with her, but there was nothing to be said, she had a drink thrown on her, she needed to go home, that was all.

She was guided in the elevator and to her dorm room where both Glimmer and Bow helped her into the shower and then clean clothes before putting her into her bed and crawling in with her. One thing she could make out through the haze was the two of them worried about her, about what had happened, she was lucky they cared so much.

After only a few minutes the two of them had fallen asleep, and Adora was once again left alone with her thoughts. She tried to come up with some plan to make sure that she could avoid Catra on campus, but as soon as she closed her eyes she fell into a dreamless slumber, unaware of what the next few days would bring her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy happy happy thursday everyone! i hope you've had a fantastic week and that going into the weekend it only gets better. thank you so much for all of the support so far! we've hit so many milestones so far, we're so close to 1000 reads and 100 kudos! if we can break it by next thursday, i'll do a double update! one on thursday at midnight and then one on friday at midnight. i love reading the few comments i get, it always brings a smile to my face to see that people are enjoying this.
> 
> if you have any questions about whats going on feel free to comment and i'll do my best to answer them!
> 
> if you don't, comment below what your favorite moment has been so far and what you're looking forward to seeing or finding out in upcoming chapters :)
> 
> thanks for everything! if you haven't already, remember to bookmark this fic so you know it's updated and to leave a kudos.
> 
> \- unknown


	5. liar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora wakes up upset and partially opens up to Glimmer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i made a playlist dedicated to this fic! each chapter is based off of a song on the playlist. this week is ‘liar’ by noah cyrus!
> 
> you can find the link to the playlist here!  
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7z39YL32HraNWzj3HHvVhQ?si=QdmoYUSQQBurPhvwUlt3bQ

Saturday, August 21st

When she woke, Adora had the worst headache she had ever experienced and was alone. She stared up at the ceiling, the world around her feeling fuzzy, her eyes burning from how much she had been crying the previous night. She remembered everything, seeing Catra, believe that she didn’t recognize her, having a drink thrown in her face. The hatred that she had always believed Catra had for her had never left.

There was little motivation to leave her bed, it was Sunday and with all of her unpacking done and no class until the following day, there was no reason to get up and try to face the world. The feelings she had held back for so long came rushing back and were crushed, knowing that Catra wanted nothing to do with her. All those years of hoping and believing that Catra would get over what happened wasted.

She rolled on her side, facing the bedside table, and noticed some type of medication as well as a small folded note with her name on it. She curled herself in a ball, too fragile to move, too afraid that too big of a movement would cause the tears to come flooding back. Pissed at herself for ever attempting to get over Catra by shoving it away, it almost made sense, she had Catra’s ghost hanging over her shoulder and it was taunting her every move.

After a few moments, she slowly reached out for the medication and a water bottle that had been left behind the lamp. She sat up slowly, careful to not aggravate her raging headache. Taking them quickly she reached over for the note and yawned.

_Adora,_

_We hope you’re feeling better, a lot happened last night. We know that you like to keep things related to her to yourself, so we won’t pester you about it until you’re ready. We decided to go out and play some tennis on campus and run to the store to get stuff for movie night tonight. We’ll be back later with some lunch, text one of us what you want, and we’ll pick it up. Your phone is plugged in by the door. See you soon :)_

_We love you more than you’ll ever know,_

_Bow and Glimmer_

Adora smiled, she didn’t deserve her friends. She swung her legs over the bed and stood, slowly shuffling to her dresser to throw on a hoodie and some sweatpants, clothes that she could just crawl right back into bed with if need be.

She didn’t feel like crying, her eyes were tired and felt like if she cried anymore, they would fall out of her head. She didn’t have to be over the situation, but she needed to at least get it out of her head, before she lost her mind. She grabbed her phone from next to the door and only had a few notifications

**Glimmer – 1 new message**

Hey babes! I hope you read the note. We’ll be back in like an hour-ish, what are you feeling for lunch?

**Bow – 2 new messages**

Morning Adora!

Any ideas for lunch?

Although she wasn’t really in the mood for lunch, Adora texted both of them back, requesting a club sandwich from wherever the two of them felt like eating. After a few moments wandering around her dorm, she got back into bed and quickly fell asleep, hoping sleep would take away the pain

\---

_Four Years Ago_

She was afraid of how Catra may react, that after everything they had been through Adora had waited until the last minute. She felt sick to her stomach, like any moment she would need to turn and run to the bathroom, but nothing would cure the nervousness of losing the one person who meant so much to her.

Adora wished more than anything that she didn’t wait this long, she wished she could go back to when she first found out that they were moving. The guilt of hiding the truth weighed on her chest for weeks, every day more nervous that she had waited to tell her, but never having the courage to do it.

Catra had always been the person to keep her sane, the one who made her feel safe, the one she promised to protect. She was going to be hundreds of miles away from the one person who made life worth living. She looked into Catra’s eyes, her beautiful kind eyes, and wished she could be in this moment with her forever.

She wished that she didn’t have to move, that she could stay in Horde by Catra’s side, that one day she would finally find the heart to tell Catra how she felt, to tell her that she loved her. Feelings that she had pushed down for so long because she was afraid her best friend would see her as different, that she would suddenly be someone completely different.

“Please just, let me finish before you say anything…” Adora finally said.

Catra only nodded. She scooted closer to Adora and put her arm around her, bringing her in closer. Adora looked down at her, she had a sweet smile on her face, Catra put a hand on her cheek and brought their foreheads together.

“I promise,”

\---

Adora woke to a slam of a door, she shot up and saw Glimmer and Bow arguing in the entryway. It was a playful argument, the two of them talking about something literature related, rambling on about the true meaning of the ending of The Great Gatsby.

“Well I just don’t get it, why would the green light signify anything?!” Bow protested, setting down his tennis bag.

“How could you not! It’s obvious it’s meant to symbolize Gatsby’s love for everything in his life, for Daisy, for money,” Glimmer walked in and looked right at Adora as if looking for some backup.

“Uh yeah, Bow, his uh love for Dahlia…” She was cut off by Glimmer

“DAISY! God the two of you are so impossible sometimes,” Bow laughed, coming in and taking a seat next to Adora.

He stunk and offered no distance between him and Adora. She tried to push him away, but just smirked and went in for a hug. The scent of him made her gag, but it was too late to move out of the way and soon she was engulfed in the smell of sweat.

“Get off of me!” Adora barely managed, “Go take a shower, I’m not spending a lazy day with you smelling like that,”

Glimmer came over and struggled to get Bow off of her, rolling her eyes as he pouted. He got up, pulling off his shirt, and started heading towards the bathroom.

“Does no one appreciate my bear hugs?” Glimmer patted him on the back.

“No one appreciates them when you smell like that.” He hung his head in shame.

He grabbed his change of clothes and went to the bathroom to shower.

When she knew that Bow had gone into the bathroom, Glimmer smiled broadly and looked right at Adora.

“We kissed last night,” Adora smirked, “Well we did more than a kiss, but it was magical."

She laughed nervously almost and hugged her, at least her friends were finally seeing what was right in front of them. They talked about what had gone on, what led up to it, how when they went out this morning, he kissed her like it was nothing. Establishing that it wasn’t just drunk sex.

Even though Adora knew her best friends were in love with each other, it was refreshing to hear that they were. That it wasn’t just some reflected feeling of seeing being in love with her best friend. _Ex-Best Friend,_ Adora reminded herself.

“Last night Catra was at the party, I saw her before I texted you and looked away for two seconds and she was gone,” Adora took a breath trying to not bring herself to tears yet again, “When I was walking into the kitchen she threw a drink in my face and didn’t say anything to me, she looked so angry, full of hate”

Glimmer looked sad, she was too afraid to speak and say the wrong thing. She knew that something had upset Adora, but never expected it to be about Catra. She could tell that Adora was holding something back, whenever Catra came up something from the puzzle was missing, but she was too afraid to push the wrong buttons and make Adora explode. Catra was a sensitive topic, she always had been, and she always will be.

“I never thought that after all this time she could still hate me, I’d figured she’d either forgotten about me or stopped being upset,” Adora fell back on the bed, feeling the tears coming back, “I just want to stop thinking about this.”

Glimmer laid next to her, “You will, it just takes time. She’s all of a sudden back, it makes sense to feel just a little bit upset,”

“More than a little bit,” She grumbled.

It was quiet after that, the two of them laying there in silence waiting for Bow to be done with his shower. Adora’s mind raced, thinking of the girl she once loved, the one who she should hate. Eventually, Bow came in and they put on a movie, both him and Glimmer trying to make light of the situation bringing Adora down, but nothing seemed to work.

Adora was in love with someone who she could never have, someone who once meant everything to her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happpppppyyyyyyy Thursday all of you lovely human beings. This has been an extremely good week, I've kept busy and got to see a lot of good people. Aside from going on a mini-vacation, one of the highlights was getting a tattoo of She-Ra's sword. It's a pretty big piece, extremely intricate, and something I'm going to cherish for the rest of my life for sure. I do apologize for quite the late update, but I haven't been home for three days and spent the day recovering from everything that had gone on. We DIDN'T hit our kudos goal, but I'm in a great mood, so lookout for a second update on Sunday :) 
> 
> Here are some questions for you!
> 
> 1\. How was your week?
> 
> 2\. What's something you would want to see out of this fanfiction? - I got an ending in mind, but I'm open to suggestions


	6. comatose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora goes to her first day of class and ends up with someone she doesn't expect

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i made a playlist dedicated to this fic! each chapter is based off of a song on the playlist. this week is ‘comatose’ by jxdn!
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7z39YL32HraNWzj3HHvVhQ?si=QdmoYUSQQBurPhvwUlt3bQ

Monday, August 23rd

On her first day of classes, Adora was already exhausted. She was taking mainly pre-requisites, but part of her wished she didn’t take a full load right out the gates. She had three classes on Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and two on Tuesday, Thursday. Luckily there was a small break between each one, giving her time to study if she needed it.

Her first two classes of the day were pretty easy, composition and geology, classes she knew she would pass with ease. She headed to her art theory class early, she was looking forward to it. She took a seat in the middle of the lecture hall, there were only two other students in there with her and her professor was down below writing something on the whiteboard.

She was a business major, minoring in art and after speaking to her advisor was going to get her art minor out of the way during the first two years. Before she had to buckle down and focus on her classes with full attention. Glimmer was a literature major, and Bow was a chemistry major; the only classes they would ever have together are the general pre-requisites. When making their schedules they made sure to at least take something together. In the end, they all had composition together and Glimmer and Adora were taking geology together.

It helped her feel less alone, even though she would spend most evenings with them, she was by herself during the day. After the long, emotionally draining weekend she had, she realized she needed to just surround herself with whatever she could. They had a good movie day, watching some of Adora’s favorite movies to take her mind off of it. That night they decided to go get ice cream, although she sometimes found her mind wander, her friends were always there to pick her up.

Lost in her thoughts, Adora hadn’t noticed the room become full of students. There were maybe twenty people around her, if that many. Etheria was a school for science majors, it made sense that there wouldn’t be many people in here with her. There was a requirement for art theory, during orientation they told her about a group presentation that would ultimately make or break her grade, but Adora trusted the system. If you were an art major coming to Etheria you either got bored and felt forced to pick an easy major or you really cared about art and didn’t get in anywhere else. She was hoping her partner would be the latter category.

“My name is Professor Trouble, you should know that I go by they/them pronouns and I’m known to teach my classes a little bit differently,” They were looking around the room, “Things in my personal life, as well as my class, are seen as a little unorthodox

They looked up at the screen which was projecting some sort of presentation about their life. They went through some personal pictures, talked about art galleries they had been a part of back in their youth. They didn’t ask the class any ice breakers, no name introductions just jumped straight in.

Professor Trouble started going through the syllabus, talking about what they would be learning about and explaining that this was a class they needed to graduate with their art minor. There were a few personal miniature art classes that would gap the difference between a B and an A-, but the big piece of the puzzle was the infamous group project.

“This is where my class is different from other professors you may have experienced if you took art theory with anything else. I believe in the idea that when opposites come together they end up making something beautiful, like sunshine after a rainstorm or eating something salty after indulging in sweets,” They got a couple of dry laughs from the audience, but didn’t seem very phased, “Because of this notion, I am requiring a duo project where the groups are chosen by me and I will be choosing today right now.”

Adora didn’t expect anything different, she knew that this class was going to be odd and it only made sense that she wouldn’t get a choice in a partner.

“In the real world sometimes you have to put up with people you can’t stand whether they be bosses or coworkers or even friends,” They looked down at a paper on their desk, “I require this project as a life lesson, to teach you to work as a unit even if someone’s ideas are different than yours,”

Adora sat back in her chair, she was good at leading about taking things into her own hands if need be, hopefully, this would be enough to get her through this project. Her professor started going down the list, grouping people together, she anxiously waited for her name to be called.

“Last, but not least, Adora you’ll be paired with Catra,” Adora felt her heart sink. She shot up and looked around the room.

To her left, there was Catra staring right at her, her face just as mad as she was at the party. She hadn’t even seen Catra walk in, she didn’t expect to have her in any of her classes. This was a big university, the chances of them being in the same art theory class were slim to none.

There had to be some way she could get out of this, someway she could trade partners, she couldn’t work with Catra all semester. She couldn’t work with someone that she knew hated her guts, someone who she cared so much for that didn’t want her anymore.

Her head felt as though it is spinning like she was stuck in a fever dream. Her past had caught up to her, a past that she didn’t want to give up, but had felt too guilty to keep what she had felt for the other girl alive.

\---

_Four Years Ago_

“My family is moving to Brightmoon, tomorrow,” She heard Catra laugh and then pat Adora’s shoulder.

She was smiling, but she slowly saw that smile go to a look of disappointment.

“Dad got a new job and he wants us to go with him, I should have told you, I’m so sorry that I didn’t,” Catra’s face was flush, her eyes glossy like she was holding back tears.

“How long have you known?” Catra’s voice was small.

Adora could tell she was upset but couldn’t read her otherwise.

“Two months,”

This is when her face turned to anger, the tears finally falling on her face. Adora found herself crying soon after, she wasn’t to comfort Catra but was too afraid of what the brunette might do.

“Why did you wait this long to tell me?” She wiped the tears from her face and took a deep breath, finally able to look Adora in the eyes again.

“Because I…” Adora bit back the bitter taste in her mouth, it was now or never, “Because I was too afraid to hurt the person that I love.”

“That’s not fair Adora, you can’t just drop the bomb of moving and say that you love me, expecting it to make up for it, ”Catra looked back down at her hands, “Why did you assume waiting would hurt me less,”

Adora didn’t have an answer for her, she didn’t know why she waited. She wished more than anything that she hadn’t waited, that as soon as she found out she had run to Catra looking for condolences.

“I don’t know, but I wish more than anything that I hadn’t,” Adora didn’t think it wouldn’t be enough for her best friend, but it was.

“Spend tonight with me, one last night before you go off,” Adora only nodded, the least she could do was be there for Catra, spend her last few hours in Horde with the only person she would want to.

“Always,”

\---

When class ended Adora and Catra went straight up to the professor begging to change partners, saying that they would do the whole project themselves if it meant they didn’t have to work together. But they only laughed.

“You see, the whole point of this project is to work uncomfortably and make a beautiful piece of art. This is meant to teach you-“ Catra cut him off.

“Meant to teach us about the real work, got it. There’s no way I’m working with…” Catra looked at Adora, her anger breaking for only a moment, “With her.”

Professor Trouble only shrugged, “Work it out, you work with each other, end of story.”

Adora knew there was no point to protest anymore. Catra stormed off and didn’t say a word to Adora. She signed before thanking the professor and turning to walk back to her dorm.

Of all people, she could be partnered with, why her. Why someone she had spent the entire weekend crying over. The person who one time far in the past knew everything there was to know about her. Why Catra.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy upload day! i hope everyone has a fantastic week :)


	7. open up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora goes to Catra's dorm to work on their project and they fight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i made a playlist dedicated to this fic! each chapter is based off of a song on the playlist. this week is ‘open up’ by UMI!  
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7z39YL32HraNWzj3HHvVhQ?si=QdmoYUSQQBurPhvwUlt3bQ

Saturday, August 28th

The rest of the week went by in a blur, she dreaded her Monday, Wednesday, Friday classes when she knew she would have to see Catra. She told Bow and Glimmer what happened, how she was being forced to work on a project with the person who swore the rest of her existence to ruining Adora’s life.

For not seeing each other for four years, Catra didn’t forget a single thing about the things that Adora hated. As if one day they would be reunited in such a way that Catra could get under her skin to make her upset. When they were in class Catra would constantly argue against Adora’s point, sometimes getting more kudos from her classmates because her side was stronger. That or they were just afraid of her.

You could tell how much Professor Trouble loved seeing the two of them go at it, constantly at each other’s throats. Catra sat on one side of the lecture hall, while Adora was on the other, but even with the distance, Adora could feel the tension in the room when there was silence. She so badly wanted to scream at Catra to grow up and stop acting so childish, how badly she wanted to ask for forgiveness.

Each week for their project leading up to their presentation, there were things due, none of which could be done on their own, which meant Adora had to see Catra most days of the week, whether she liked it or not. She hated the idea of seeing her, especially when she knew that the moment the two of them weren’t separated by other students or Professor Trouble, they would be fighting with each other. _That or Catra would try to kill me,_ Adora shook the thought from her head.

Part of her believed that Catra was doing this to get back at Adora, that after leaving her behind Catra felt like she deserved whatever was coming for her. That all the argument, and torment was her way of lashing out at Adora, Catra was never good at words.

Their entire friendship was Adora talking first, Adora talking about her feelings and having to work so hard to get Catra to be honest about her. She spent most of the time they shared comforting Catra about something that she didn’t know the full story of.

It was Saturday when Adora next saw Catra, the two of them had decided to meet at Catra’s dorm to work on their project for a couple of hours. They both decided that the sooner that they were done the better, the less they had to see each other the smoother the project would go. It was obvious how hard this was going to be for both of them, how awkward it was going to be.

Adora knocked on Catra’s door at 2 pm, paints in hand, ready for whatever she was going to be hit with. She stood around for a couple of minutes, waiting for Catra to open the door, but there was no answer. She knocked again, louder this time, but there was still no answer. _Of course,_ she thought to herself.

“Catra, it’s Adora let me in,” She yelled knocking on the door yet again.

Still, there was no response. She set down her paints and pulled her phone out of her pocket.

 **Adora: Catra I’m outside, can you please come and open the** **door.**

After only a minute the door opened and Catra was standing in front of her. She was wearing athletic shorts and an Etheria University sweatshirt, her hair tied up in a small bun on the top of her head. She just looked at Adora and held the door open for her to come in.

She picked up her paints and follow Catra inside. Her common room was dark, a small light emitting from the bottom of the door on the left. The other door was wide open, sun shining through the window. She noticed a small ceramic cat on the top of the bookshelf, something that she’d recognized from Catra’s childhood bedroom. She smiled to herself, oh to be young again.

Catra still hadn’t said a word to her as they walked into her bedroom. She turned the lights on and sat in the chair on her desk. She opened up her laptop and went through a notebook, looking for a clean page. Adora just stood there awkwardly, not sure whether to sit on Catra’s messy bed or the floor.

Catra had taken notice and turned to look at her. She made Adora feel like an idiot like she should know what to do next. She looked down at her feet and waited for Catra to say something.

“Well are you just going to stand there or are you going to sit down, the sooner we get to work the sooner you can leave,” Her voice trailed off, but Adora could make out what she said, “Just like you always do,”

Adora looked back up at her, was Catra going to start with her this early?

“I’m not starting this with you Catra,” Catra rolled her eyes and turned to look back at the computer.

“I’m just saying, you have a habit of doing it,” Adora sat down at the edge of the bed.

“Well, I promise I won’t do it again,” Catra laughed and turned to look at her again.

“Your promises mean nothing to me anymore,” That one stung, Adora had felt like she’d gotten the wind knocked out of her.

She didn’t know what to say, but her blood was boiling. She felt like getting up and punching Catra in the face, but she also felt like falling to her knees and begin Catra to forgive her. She felt her fist ball up, her chest heavy with regret and anguish.

“It wasn’t my fault Catra, I didn’t want to leave. I didn’t have a choice!” She was screaming by her last word, something she knew Catra had once hated, “At least I didn’t cut off all feelings I ever had for you, at least I tried to keep talking! You were the one who chose to give up!”  
\---

_Four Years Ago_

Adora woke up with Catra in her arms, she smiled slightly, completely forgetting about what she would have to do later in the day. She was relieved that Catra knew, that she didn’t seem completely torn over the fact that Adora would be leaving, that she was sleeping soundly in Adora’s arms.

After their fight the previous night, after Adora told her she loved her Catra didn’t bring it up again. They decided to just go through their evening like they usually would. They got takeout from Horde Sushi, came home, built a fort in Catra’s room, watched movies until late hours of the night, and went onto Catra’s roof to watch the stars together.

Horde was a small town, one where you could see almost every star in the sky on a clear night. Stargazing was one of their favorite past times, they would do it for hours at a time, laying in each other’s arms until they both felt too tired to look anymore. After which they would climb into Catra’s bed and fall asleep in a moment.

Sometimes they would stay up until the sun broke the Earth and they would watch it rise together, completely forgetting that they hadn’t gotten any sleep the previous night.

Adora watched as Catra stirred and began to stretch when she finally opened her eyes, she smiled at Adora.

“Good morning,” Catra just hummed back in response.

The two of them laid there for what felt like hours, both dreading to get up and ruin the perfect morning they were having. Adora was the first to sit up getting all of her stuff ready, Catra watching her anxiously. She knew what was going to happen next.

After packing everything up, the two walked to Catra's front door and just stood there hand in hand.

“What do you want Adora?” Adora just stared at Catra unsure of what to say.

Inside she knew that all she wanted was to stay there, with Catra’s arms wrapped around her, but she couldn’t no matter how long she delayed going home she eventually would have to, she would have to be moving whether she liked it or not.

“I… I have to do this Catra,” As she pulled away from her friends embrace, she saw tears falling on her face

“Don’t you get it, I love you! I always have!” Adora wiped the tears from her face and then cupped Catra’s cheek, “So, please, just this once stay!

Adora shook her head and stroked Catra’s cheek with her thumb.

“I can’t, I have to go Catra,” She kissed Catra’s cheek softly.

“You said last night you loved me, what changed, why can’t you stay?” Adora felt her heart stop, she needed to do the only thing she could think of, the only things that would take the pain away.

“I can’t love you, I’m sorry,” Adora's heart broke.

She didn't stay long enough to hear an argument or to see Catra's reaction. She turned, opening her best friend's door for the last time, running home with tears in her eyes. 

\---

Catra stood from her chair and turned away from Adora, too afraid to look her in the eyes.

“You said you loved me, Adora, you made me believe that you loved me and then you said you couldn’t how could you expect me to say anything else to you! You only ever think of yourself, just like you did back then!” Her voice broke.

It wasn’t until that moment that Adora realized that Catra didn’t hate her, that Catra had loved her all along, all those years ago. That after years of being together she had her heart shattered after Adora said she didn’t love her. She didn’t stop talking to Adora because she moved, she stopped talking to her because she was too afraid to love someone who couldn’t love her back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy update day! I hope everyone is doing well! Kinda the chapter everyone's been waiting for huh, the first real interaction between Catra and Adora. It only gets more interesting from here.
> 
> I need to start writing more, the next chapter is the last one that I have pre-written and after that, I'll need to sit down and write a ton all at once or write one chapter per week to keep up with updates. If I am not able to write a ton beforehand, there will NOT be an update on July 16th, I am on vacation from the 10th to the 19th.
> 
> I am trying to have everything written in the next month and a half before I leave for school and don't have a ton of time on my hands. Don't worry though I won't be leaving this fic in the middle of nowhere, in the off chance everything isn't written I'll change update days a little bit.
> 
> Just wanted to keep everyone in the loop :)
> 
> Hugs!


	8. another place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora and Catra come to an agreement

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i made a playlist dedicated to this fic! each chapter is based off of a song on the playlist. this week is ‘another place’ by bastille!
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7z39YL32HraNWzj3HHvVhQ?si=QdmoYUSQQBurPhvwUlt3bQ

Saturday, August 28th

Adora and Catra stood there, staring at each other with angry eyes. Both of them so strong and full of emotion, the world could collapse around them and they wouldn’t even take notice. Catra was right, Adora was selfish, in the past, she was always worried about what MIGHT have happened if she told Catra the day she found out.

She fought with the guilt for years, although it wasn’t ever really gone, she believed that it was. She thought that after all this time Catra wouldn’t be upset, that she would get over whatever she had once felt for Adora, and if their paths ever crossed again, maybe, just maybe things could go back to normal.

But with that being said, Adora wasn’t the only selfish one. Catra didn’t try to keep communication, after mending feelings and Catra telling Adora what she felt was just a friendly love the two of them tried to stay in contact. Once Catra saw Adora and her new friends in Brightmoon, it was all over. Adora was blocked, she was forgotten about and she had to go through the pain of losing her best friend.

Adora stepped to Catra and grabbed her wrist, trying to console her.

“I’m sorry I was selfish, I wish I did things differently,” Adora looked down at Catra’s hand her knuckles white from how tightly her hand was in a fist, “And I know it will never be enough, but I’m extremely sorry”

Catra looked up at her, she relaxed her hand and took a deep breath. _It was a start,_ Adora thought.

“I spent so long upset at myself for ever trusting you,” She pulled her wrist away from Adora, “After you said _that,_ after getting me to believe that I was the only one who felt something, after making me believe that you never really cared,”

She turned her head away from Adora, her heart racing and full of rage. For so long she believed that nothing Adora ever said was true. That their entire friendship was some cruel joke, that the feelings she knew they both shared meant nothing. For so long she reserved her feelings for Adora, feeling lucky every morning she got to wake up in her arms without any type of label, how protective they were over each other, but it didn’t matter anymore. Adora abandoned her, she kept the truth from her, and she made her believe that they shared the same kind of love.

“I’m not asking for forgiveness or even a second chance, I just want to be civil with you, I want to show you that I’m not that person anymore,” Catra looked at her, her sad blue eyes begging without needing to say a word.

It was only fair, it wasn’t forgiveness if it was just the two of them being adults, being civil. In the end, if Adora was a changed person then she would have no reason to hate her anymore, she would have no reason to act what happened in the past was the end of their era. If she was the same person, the same one who would twist words she would only have to deal with her for the rest of the semester, 15 more weeks of seeing her and they never had to again.

“Okay,” Catra took a deep breath and sat back down at her desk, hoping Adora would drop any more talk of this, of what was said before.

"Do you think that if different things were said, we would still be friends?" Of course, she didn't

She spent so long trying to forget, purposely do things to drive Adora away. Kissing one of her friends -granted they were sleeping with each other on the side-, throwing a drink in Adora’s face, tormenting her in class, everything she could to make Adora not like her anymore, but no matter what, the blonde always gave her those sad eyes, the eyes of someone who had said a thousand sorries.

Although she would never believe herself if she said it out loud, Catra missed Adora, she missed the joy she brought her back when they were younger. She was tired of being angry, tired of being upset. She just wanted her back and if the only way she would get her is through this stupid project then she would do what she needed to, to keep it that way, no matter how afraid she was of the concept of Adora being back.

"I- I don't know. Part of me wishes the answer was yes, the other is too afraid to think about it," _I'd hope we would be more than just friends._

Adora smiled and nodded, it was obvious how sorry she was, but it was too soon to forgive her, too soon to be friends again. The subject needed to change.

“So, this project…” She trailed off turning to look at Adora who was still smiling, “What?”

“Nothing, I’m just, relieved that’s all,” Catra shook her head and looking back at her laptop to pull up the instructions.

“Don’t get too excited, one semester, that’s all,” As confident as she felt saying it, Catra hoped deep down that wouldn’t be the case.

They worked on the project the rest of the afternoon, deciding to do two different pieces each of them would create an original and then trade with the other to do a spin-off on the piece. This they could do alone but thought of what Professor Trouble had said, how two opposite forces can inspire the best pieces of art. They decided that every Saturday morning they would meet at one of their apartments and work on their art together, try and inspire each other.

Most of the time they work it was silent, Catra offered to play music, but Adora said she liked the silence it helped her think. They shared very few conversations, both surprised they weren’t at each other’s throats or finding something to complain about. Even though Catra would never say it to her face, she was enjoying herself.

Having Adora in her dorm reminded her of the times they would spend in her bedroom after school, working on homework, Adora focusing extremely hard on what she was doing, how Catra could never get a conversation out of her unless it was school-related. She always stuck her tongue out just a little bit when she was concentrating or biting on the end of her pen doing the work in her head, quietly whispering to herself.

Now though, Adora was completely silent, never looking up from what she was doing, but maybe it was for the best. Catra found herself sometimes taking glances at Adora, smiling to herself, but then would shoot herself down, reminding herself of what happened the last time she tried to get close.

At around 7 pm, Adora packed up her paints. She left her canvas on the floor, cleaned up what she had been using, and washed her hands and brushes in the sink. Catra snuck a look at what she had been working on but was quickly interrupted.

“No looking, it’s part of the fun,” Adora picked up what she had brought with her including the canvas which was still wet. “I’m gonna head out, I’ll see you on Monday.”

Catra watched her walk to the door and just as she was slipping out, she heard Adora say something else.

“Bye Wildcat,” Catra felt herself blushing, it was a nickname she hadn’t heard in years.

Maybe over the years, Adora had changed. Maybe the girl she once knew was different, maybe she could be forgiven. Catra found herself laughing genuinely for one of the first times in years. She felt airy, carefree just like she had back when they were younger.

After only a minute she felt fear return. The fear that had held her back for so long had returned, she couldn’t trust Adora, not for a long time. Not until she knew that she had changed, that she wouldn’t break her heart again. Catra was afraid because she was falling for Adora all over again and was too afraid it would end the same way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Thursday everyone! I just want to give a heads up that I went through and have partially updated the past seven chapters. Really it was just grammatical stuff and extra spaces things that may have made it difficult to read. 
> 
> Thank you for all the engagement!


	9. somebody else will get your eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora struggles with what she feels, but something good comes from it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i made a playlist dedicated to this fic! each chapter is based off of a song on the playlist. this week is ‘somebody else will get your eyes’ by chelsea cutler!
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7z39YL32HraNWzj3HHvVhQ?si=QdmoYUSQQBurPhvwUlt3bQ

Saturday, August 28th

_Wildcat? Did you seriously just call her that?_ It was a nickname that Adora had called her as a child. Her hair was always crazy, much like a lion and she never slowed down. She constantly had to be doing something, usually, it was running around getting into trouble in any way that she could and even though Adora tried to stay out of trouble, she loved it when Catra brought out a different side of her.

It was a quiet night on campus for a Saturday night. The sun was setting and the only people that were out in the quad were sitting on a blanket in the grass looking up at the dark blue sky, probably trying to find the first start of the night, just as she and Catra would do as children. _Everything always comes back to her._

She felt bliss as she thought of Catra, the girl that she spent her entire childhood falling in love with. She regretted telling Catra that she couldn’t love her, too afraid of the consequences if Catra had become an online love.

Adora couldn’t seem to wipe the small smile from her face, her mind positive that things would work out even if she was still feeling conflicted. Catra had gone out of her way to make Adora unhappy, constantly challenging her, throwing a drink in her face. Was she thinking of getting involved with Catra, when it seemed like she wanted nothing to do with her?

 _Maybe it wasn’t out of spite, maybe it was to get my attention_. If Catra did hate Adora why would she agree to be civil, agree that they would see each other every Saturday when she could be doing different things. She had high hopes that Catra never hated her, that she did the same thing that Adora had to forget the one person who meant everything to her.

Although she would never say it out loud, Adora had a soft spot for Catra, she always did. Above all she spent most of her childhood by her side, protecting her from any bad that ever came her way. While things were different and there was a ton of different emotions coming from both sides, she would still do everything to protect her.

It was a horrible trait of her, she cared too much about people, even if they wouldn’t put their happiness on the line for her. During high school, she was able to hold back and work on caring too much, but even still it felt like she would put her life on the line for Catra.

What Catra did was wrong, she shouldn’t care about her or try to get her friendship back, but deep down she knew that the things she did were to get a reaction out of her. Adora deserved everything that Catra had done to her the past week, she didn’t even deserve a chance to be civil with Catra. Yet, she was still getting one, that had to mean something.

It didn’t take long for her to get back to her dorm. When she got inside it was dark, with no sign of Glimmer. She stored her paints in the closet by the door and then went into the bathroom to set down her still-wet painting. She washed the paint off of her hands went into her room.

She changed out of her painting clothes and into something more comfortable before laying in her bed. She stared up at the ceiling, the only noise coming from the hum of the air conditioning and the slight ringing in her ears. It was times like these that she hated being alone.

Time felt like it had slowed down, she noticed every breath she took, every time she blinked. The world around her was spinning too fast. All the while, her heartbeat was slow, almost too slow. Adora sat up quickly, taking several deep breaths and tried to ground herself.

This wasn’t the first time she had been close to a panic attack since she got to school. Being too relaxed made her like this since everything she had pushed down could finally come out and haunt her.

Realistically, she shouldn’t trust Catra, she shouldn’t want to be with her or around her, but something kept her from holding back. Their past had been a lot to swallow and for so long had tried to push it away and forget about it, but the past is the past, and one day whether you push it away or not it comes back.

Six months ago, not even two weeks ago had she imagined being reunited with Catra. She learned the hard way that trying to block everything out would just end in burning flames. She probably would have reacted better or handled seeing Catra better if she had coped with it healthily, not just blocking it out because she didn’t want to deal with it for the time being.

Back when they were kids, Adora wanted to be with Catra, and a part of her even now wishes that she could be, but they weren’t good for each other, or Adora wasn’t good for Catra. She had lost her chance the moment that she told Catra that she couldn’t love her when deep down she could have loved her.

She wishes that she had taken the risk, that she had told Catra she wanted to be with her and no one else. That she would wait for her and deal with the distance if it meant that they could be together, but that was before. Before she went and said that she couldn’t love her before she broke her best friends’ heart and kept one of the biggest secrets from her.

Even though she never wanted to admit it, Adora was the problem. Catra didn’t keep contact because she couldn’t, the pain of knowing Adora would never love her as more than just a friend was too much for her. When in reality, Adora would have dropped anything within her control to be with Catra.

She felt herself crying, her body gently shaking. She regretted every moment she couldn’t be with Catra. Their history was too much for her and she hated herself forever wishing that things could be different, that one day they might get the chance to be something real.

After only a few minutes the tears stopped and Adora just felt empty. She shouldn’t be sad, she was getting another chance to prove to Catra that she wanted something to do with her, that the day she had to leave was a day she would always regret.

She laid back down on the bed, trying to think back to earlier in the day when she was with Catra. She had been the one to agree that she and Adora should be civil and nothing more, but the glances that Catra kept taking at her while they worked seemed to tell her otherwise.

Adora always picked up on the small things. The small glances that Catra would take of her, the smile she would give when she though Adora wasn’t looking, the relaxed body language she had right after they were done yelling. Maybe it was hope that one-day Catra would see her as more than just an acquaintance, but to her, someone who wanted very little communication would be stiff and narrow, not as carefree as Catra had seen.

That’s when she did something that she shouldn’t have. Something that was overbearing and probably too much, something that she wished she would regret but didn’t.

**Adora: I had a good time today, thank you. For everything.**

Right after she hit send, Adora tossed her phone across the room, instantly feeling guilty for what she did. _Just passing acquaintances you idiot! Not texting buddies._ She groaned loudly and buried her head into her pillow.

Although guilty, she felt no regret in what she had done. She wanted to talk to Catra, more than just once a week on Saturdays when they were only together to do their assignments. She wanted to be friends with Catra, even if that all that they would ever be.

She got up and shut the door to her room, grabbing her phone on the way back. She turned off the lights and crawled back into bed. It was only eight, but she just wanted some time alone to think things over.

Adora struggled in how she felt, she wanted everything and nothing to do with Catra at the same time. She wanted to be in her life but knew that she should stay away to protect her feelings, to protect Catra. What she did was unforgivable, but somehow, she felt as though Catra was slowly forgiving her. It wasn’t just intuition; it was the text she got back from Catra too.

**Catra: I did too, see you on Monday :)**

She felt her heart skip a beat. Maybe, just maybe she would have a shot in getting Catra back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The wait is finally over! Update day is upon us! I hope everyone had a good week! I’ve encountered a little bit of writers block trying to write one of the later chapters, so I’m going to try and write something else to shift gears and see if that makes me more motivated to write. I have a plan for this book until the final chapter, but putting it to words without making it seem rushed is something I am struggling with. There will be updates the next two weeks so hopefully I get my act together before then.
> 
> Trust me I hate when fics stop halfway through, I’m not gonna do that and leave you hanging for six months. I may not upload next week and stretch the few chapters I have written as long as I can and switch to bimonthly updates, but we’ll see
> 
> Thanks for all the support! I can’t believe we’ve hit 2k hits, I really didn’t think I’d get this many haha. OH and to all of you giving kudos, leaving comments, bookmarking the fic, and liking the playlist on spotify I thank you! It really keeps me going and makes me WANT to write more.
> 
> Have a great rest of your week :)
> 
> Talk soon!  
> R


	10. i need you to hate me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra does something to protect her heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i made a playlist dedicated to this fic! each chapter is based off of a song on the playlist. this week is ‘i need you to hate me’ by jc stewart!
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7z39YL32HraNWzj3HHvVhQ?si=QdmoYUSQQBurPhvwUlt3bQ

Saturday, August 28th

It was wrong of her to text back Adora, especially so soon after receiving it. Catra was afraid of what was going to happen next, knowing that the more she saw Adora the faster the feelings for her were going to come rushing back. Even though their past was rocky and Catra spent four years hating her and planning what she would do if she ever saw Adora again, that feeling was washed away the moment she heard sorry come out of her mouth.

She had a good reason to dislike her, a good reason to be afraid of what could happen if they continued to see each other. She had a justification for anything that she could do to Adora to torment her further, yet part of her held back and resisted the urge to ruin Adora’s life completely.

The months she spent regretting the day she ever trusted Adora’s promises meant nothing to her anymore, part of her wished that she had said more. That when Adora was in her dorm she asked why she did it in the first place, why she said that she couldn’t love Catra, why she kept the move a secret in general.

Fear wasn’t an excuse that she was willing to accept, the two of them had known each other their entire lives, there had to be another reason that Adora kept it a secret, something that if Catra knew she would immediately feel regretful for asking. Back then, Adora always had Catra’s best interest in mind, maybe that’s what she had done on the last day they saw each other.

 _Don’t do this to yourself, not again._ It was torture to continue to justify Adora’s actions, no matter how much she wanted them to make sense they probably never would. She was allowed to have her walls up still, four years of shoving everything that she had ever felt for Adora away were going to waste. She was torn between her heart and her head.

The only way to forget the feelings was to get Adora to hate her, to do everything in her power to make her so mad that she would stop coming back. That she would stop being nice when they were arguing in class, or act like friends when they were working on their art project. It was the only way to keep Adora in her place and to keep her feelings in check.

There was no rhyme or reason as to why she had texted Adora back, she almost wished that she hadn’t. She wouldn’t send another text to Adora, even if she wanted to say something snarky to make it seem like she still didn’t care about her and if Adora came back, texted her yet again she would refrain from texting her back. It was the only way that this situation would work.

The only way that she could forget about the way that Adora made her feel when they were young, the way that she still felt today even though all the pain that Adora caused her. It was something that would always haunt her, every day wishing that she could have Adora erased from her mind that she would never have to remember the way that she made her feel.

She wished that her heart would understand that she was protecting herself, that she couldn’t fall back in love with Adora. That bringing her back into her life was dangerous because she could easily get just as hurt, especially if Adora wanted nothing to do with her, just like she did back then.

Whenever feelings like this came back to her, Catra remembered back to that day, the day that everything fell apart. The way she said she couldn’t love her and she left her in tears at her doorstep. Adora was right, she had stopped communicating with her, but it was for the same reason she refused to do anything more than be civil now. Because otherwise she would see her walls tumble and fall and leave her heart vulnerable yet again.

Catra shut her laptop after blankly staring at it since Adora had left. She tried to distract herself, but it hadn’t worked very well. She grabbed her phone and put it on her bedside table, crawling into bed and turning off her lamp. The only thing that would keep her at peace would be to sleep, the only place that she wouldn’t actively think of the blonde that still controlled her thoughts.

\---

_The Next Day_

By noon the next day, Catra had felt better and was in a good enough mood to hang around campus with her friends. She had received a couple of text from Adora, mindless texts that were just to get a conversation out of her, but she ignored them, knowing it was for the best.

She agreed to be an adult and be nice, she never agreed to be friends with her, no matter how badly she wanted it, she could never be friends with her.

Scorpia had said something that made the rest of the group laugh, but Catra was too lost in her thoughts to make out what she said. It wasn’t until Scorpia’s shoulder collided with hers that she was brought back to reality.

“Catra what is going on with you today, you’ve given nothing but fake laughs for my jokes, which were actually kind of funny!” The rest of the group was staring at her, she needed to come up with something, and fast.

“I have a huge quiz tomorrow that I never studied for, I’m thinking of how regretful I’m gonna feel when I go to turn in something blank tomorrow,” They nodded, _whew good enough for now._

Only Lonnie had known the full story about Adora and knew what had been going on in Professor Trouble’s class. The two of them had met shortly after Adora left for Brightmoon, it had turned out that they had most of their classes together and ended up being pretty close to one another by the end of the year.

She was the only thing that kept Catra from falling apart more than she already had and even now was Catra’s rock. She put up with a lot of Catra’s problems and in return, Catra agreed to be her punching bag when she needed to train.

Lonnie gave Catra a look as if reading Catra’s mind and knowing exactly what was going on, but she only shook her head. _Better to keep it to myself then bother her._ All of them walked into one of the dining halls and Catra heard a familiar laugh from close by.

She turned to her right and Adora was sitting with two other people holding her stomach from laughing so much. She looked up and look right at Catra. Without thinking, Catra did the only thing that she thought would protect her. She grabbed Scorpia’s arm and pulled her close. She cupped Scorpia’s face and kissed her slowly, feeling the other woman melt at her touch.

She wasn't sure how long their kissing for, but eventually Scorpia pulls away, her face flush with a goofy grin plastered across her face.

“Catra, I thought we decided to stop this whole ‘friends with benefits’ thing,” She smiled shyly and rubbed the back of her neck.

“I just wanted to do that, one more time,” Scorpia gave her another peck on the lips.

“Whatever you say,” Her hand which was laying on Catra’s waist dropped as she went to catch up with the rest of the group.

Catra sighed and glanced at Adora. She looked as though her heart had shattered into a million pieces. She needed to protect herself at all costs, even if it meant losing Adora in the way she had always wanted her. She looked away and took a deep breath before joining her friends.

This was the best option; she had no other choice but to do something that would convince Adora that she wanted nothing more than to get through this semester. The more time she spent contemplating it, the more she realized that she wasn’t just trying to convince Adora, but herself as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Thursday everyone! How's that for an update, Catra point-of-view and a little bit of drama. I switched gears and decided to write another fanfiction to take my mind off of this one and think I'm ready to finally write a few more chapters, the writers' block is gone. 
> 
> I can't believe we're 1/3 of the way done with the fic! Things are about to start picking up for sure! What are you most interested to see?
> 
> If you're interested, I posted an Avatar the Last Airbender fanfiction, it's a rockstar AU! Here's the link in case you want it:  
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/25194544/chapters/61061446
> 
> I hope you have a good rest of your week!  
> \- R


	11. i leave again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora has a plan and goes to another party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i made a playlist dedicated to this fic! each chapter is based off of a song on the playlist. this week is ‘i leave again’ by petit biscuit and shallou!
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7z39YL32HraNWzj3HHvVhQ?si=QdmoYUSQQBurPhvwUlt3bQ

Friday, September 3rd

Adora tried to not let what Catra did bother her all week. She wasn’t deaf, she had heard what the other girl said, that they ended their friends with benefits. Which meant this was all a scheme to get Adora upset or to drive her away, but she wasn’t letting that happen. She was tired of Catra making excuses to avoid her, she needed to solve this once and for all. She knew that some part of her still felt for Adora; that whether she would admit it or not, the feeling never faded, just like Adora’s hadn’t.

Seahawk always took the weekends to avoid doing homework and throw parties instead, and Adora was making it her goal to go. Not to have a good time, not to get wasted, but intending to run into Catra and put her in her place. She had a plan or at least one that would be so innocent that it wouldn’t seem like a way to get close to Catra.

According to Bow, one of Seahawk’s favorite things to do was to get people to play a drinking game and he adored when people brought it up. He was supposedly notorious for getting everyone who wasn’t already drunk involved. Knowing Catra and her history, she wouldn’t be drinking very much, and her competitiveness would make her feel obligated to play, especially if she saw Adora doing it.

She even got Bow and Glimmer in on the plan, telling them to round up Catra’s friends so that even if she felt hesitant to do it, she would join. She hoped to play truth or dare, it would be the easiest way to get Catra right where she wanted her. Although she wouldn’t suggest it, spin the bottle would be even better, it would be the best way to get those feelings rushing back. Then Catra would know she was up to something, especially if she was the one advocating for it, then she wouldn’t join.

Glimmer suggested that the three of them meet at Seahawks, to draw less attention to the fact that they were friends with Adora. They weren’t sure how much her friends knew about Adora and what had happened, but the less of a chance they had of being associated with each other the better. The two of them would arrive early to be able to scope out the scene and let Adora know when Catra got to the party if she wasn’t there already. The only reason they were going was to make sure that Catra was brought to her senses, so when she showed up Adora would be on her way.

After she would corner her in a game of truth or dare, she didn’t have much of a plan. She could go one of two ways. Get her to talk, let out her deepest darkest secret, or find a more physical way to get her to feelings out. Either way worked for Adora, but it needed to be done and it had to happen before they met up the next day to work on their project. She even had an idea of getting one of her friends to dare Catra to do something, or dare Adora to do something, but was afraid what was going on would be blatantly obvious.

She dressed in a similar outfit to what she wore to the first party she saw Catra at, something tightly fitted, but this time instead of wearing it because she wanted to, she was wearing it to drive Catra mad. Taking note of what she was attracted to when they were younger, she knew that Catra liked a woman’s figure, getting to see someone bear it all and be confident about it was something that drew her towards certain people, hopefully, it stayed true even four years later.

As much as she should be mad at Catra, she couldn’t be. After the two weeks, she had spent with Catra back in her life, both the good and the bad moments made her realize that Catra was meant to be in her life for a certain purpose and she wasn’t letting her get away this time. It didn’t mean she would trust her right away, or that she was doing something sensible, but she had to follow her heart and for some reason, her heart was telling her this was right.

Regrets of what had happened in the year’s priors were in the past and even if that wasn’t enough for Catra she was going to find some way to make it up to her. Make sure that Catra was here in her life to stay for good this time. She didn’t care to explain all of her reasoning to Bow and Glimmer, afraid that they would try to drive her away from Catra or try and convince her that this was a horrible idea, but sometimes you have to take risks and this was one that Adora was willing to take.

She’d spent the evening pacing her room and trying to keep herself busy, nervous about what the night what hold. Catra took up too much of her brainpower, so homework was out of the question and it’s not like Bow and Glimmer were home to keep her company. She kept switching between tasks, trying to clean up her room and organize little things that were loitering across her desk and bedside table. Eventually, she just ended up laying in her bed, scrolling through her socials.

\---

**Best Friend Squad!**

**Glimmer: All of her friends are here, no doubt we’ll be seeing her soon**

**Bow: Imagine if she’s planning on doing the same stuff, we are**

**Glimmer: Doubtful, she’s not that smart**

**Adora: She’s pretty cunning, it wouldn’t surprise me**

**Glimmer: Someone just came in and they all walked over to the door, get your stuff ready she’s probably here**

**Bow: It’s definitely her, I’d recognize those eyes anywhere**

**Bow: See you soon Adora**

**Glimmer: I’ll bring up the game to Seahawk, this plan actually might work!**

Most of her stuff had already been gathered, a nervous habit of hers was to make sure she’s always ten steps ahead of everyone else. She had already scheduled an Uber for 9:45, she was going to end up at the party and Catra was good about blending in or showing up right when Adora least expected it. It always happened like that, on move-in day she was right there in the quad, at the party she looked down for one second and she was there, she was in Adora’s art class, this she assumed would be no different.

Adora got to the party about twenty minutes later and heard chanting from outside of the door. Glimmer and Bow had let her know that a lot of people including Catra had gathered in one of the backrooms for an epic game of Drunk Truth or Dare. She let herself in and passed all of the drunk people who were dancing in the living space to continue heading towards the chanting. When she got inside, there was Catra, shotgunning a beer while all of the people around her cheered.

She passed right in front of Catra and took a seat next to Bow whose arm was tightly wrapped around Glimmer. A few seconds late, Catra finished and crushed the can with her bare hands, throwing it into the corner of the room. She still hadn’t noticed that Adora was there, but that only lasted a moment before their eyes met. She gave a venomous smirk, her eyes glossy, it was clear she was already pretty drunk.

“It’s my turn right, to ask I mean,” Catra looked right at Seahawk, expecting an answer, but he just shrugged, “Alright I’ll take that as a yes,"

Mermista handed Adora a red cup, which smelled like rubbing alcohol and citrus. She was hesitant to take it, but Mermista insisted, who was she to say no to a free drink. Adora drank it one go, her throat burning from the drink that she was sure was 95% alcohol and 5% mixer. When she looked back up, she caught Catra’s eyes again. She was sitting on the couch in front of her with another beer in her hand, slowly moving her wrist around as if she was airing it out.

“Adora, truth or dare,” She saw it coming.

She was either giving in to an extremely embarrassing truth, or a painful dare. The same idea she had for Catra, but she had been beaten at her own game and somehow needed to avoid this without chickening out and taking an obligatory drink on her first round.

“Dare,” _What’s the worst she could do?_

“I dare you…” She looked around the room, “To take a body shot off of the person of your choice,”

Adora narrowed her eyes, in a game of drunk truth or dare if you choose to skip something you take one shot, so to avoid the awkwardness of picking someone to do a shot off of, what’s the point. _To prove you’re not a prude, I guess._ Then a brilliant idea came to her head, one that Catra probably hadn’t seem coming, that she was totally going to go along with.

“I can pick anyone in the room?” Adora asked, standing.

“Yup, anyone.” Catra nodded.

Adora, whose world was spinning from drinking so fast, looked around the room, pretending to be making a decision. People that were playing had anxious looks on their faces, everyone except for the one person who should be worried about having to be Adora’s victim. She sighed, trying to drag on the picking process even though she knew exactly who she would be doing a body shot off of. Then she looked right at her, coping the smirk she had previously plastered across her face.

“You,” Catra’s eyes went wide.

“No, that’s not how this works,” Adora shrugged.

“You said I could pick anyone, I pick you,” Her face turning slightly pink.

Catra was too sly for her own good, thinking she could get Adora to start drinking or better yet pick someone random to do it off of. She tried to protest, but everyone in the room shut her down and made sly comments.

**_You did say, ANYONE._ **

**_Afraid Catra?_ **

**_It’s just a body shot!_ **

Catra rolled her eyes and removed her shirt. She laid on the floor and waited for someone to come and set up the shot. Seahawk was already on it, running to the kitchen to get the supplies he would need. Glimmer and Bow just stared at her wide-eyed, fully expecting her to pick one of them to do it off of. The two of them had expected a drinking game would lead to the truth coming out, not body shots.

When Seahawk came back in, he held a box of salt, tequila, and a lime wedge. Adora kneeled in between Catra’s legs, she looked more anxious than anything else. He filled a shot glass with tequila and handed it to Adora. She watched his moves as he put a line of salt from Catra’s waistline to her navel and then put a lime in her mouth. This was happening.

“Whenever you’re ready Adora, she’s all yours,” Adora hesitantly nodded, her eyes meeting Catra’s again.

_Here goes nothing._

Adora took the shot and slowly ran her tongue up Catra’s stomach, making sure to pick up all of the salt. As soon as she made contact, she felt Catra tense beneath her. She felt her heart beating in her throat. All around her people were cheering and howling, _the people want a show? I’ll give them a show._ She didn’t stop at her navel and continued to lick up Catra’s chest until she got to the edge of her bra.

She was now hovered over Catra, her hair falling onto Catra’s face shielding the two of them from the people around them. That’s when Adora leaned down to take the lime out of her mouth but was met with Catra’s lips. She tasted like lime and beer, Adora didn’t even hesitate she just continued kissing Catra. She didn’t try to stop the kiss either, resting her hand on Adora’s waist. Her younger self was screaming, _was this really happening?_

“Alright, alright you’ve done your shot let’s get going!” Adora pulled away and was met with Catra who had a goofy grin on her face.

What happened wasn’t even registering with Adora, she just stood, swaying a little bit and helped Catra up. She kissed Catra, or Catra kissed her, she couldn’t tell and neither of them had seemed to care about what just happened. They were both a little bit drunk, but internally they both knew this wasn’t some drunk kiss. Both of them gave too much feeling behind it for it to mean nothing. 

After tonight, things would never be the same and maybe it was for the better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Thursday, I hope everyone has had a very good week so far. So we're finally here, a little bit of spice for your day! I've been waiting so long to write something like this, but I feel like the longer I draw it out the more fulfilling it will feel. The next few chapters will be kind of heavy, no TW's, but not a lot of romance just getting out those feelings and that guiltiness, before we come back to fluffy stuff.
> 
> Taking a break from writing this has definitely helped get the creative juices flowing. You may not have noticed, but there was a little change! At the beginning of each chapter, there will be a date that will help the flow of the book and not make everything seem like it was one day after the other. I added them to the first chapters as well so if you want to go back and take a look you can, but I'm going to be posting the dates below as well.
> 
> Friday, August 20th: The Cut That Always Bleeds, Because of You, and Backfire at the Disco  
> Saturday, August 21st: Liar  
> Monday, August 23rd: Comatose  
> Saturday, August 28th: Open Up, Another Place, Somebody Else Will Get Your Eyes, I Need You To Hate Me  
> Friday, September 3rd: I Leave Again 
> 
> I hope this makes everything a little bit clearer and not seem AS rushed or make the timing seem off!
> 
> Have a great rest of your week, see you next Thursday!  
> \- R


	12. comatose pt. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora finally confronts Catra and tells her the truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i made a playlist dedicated to this fic! each chapter is based off of a song on the playlist. this week is ‘comatose’ by mikky ekko!
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7z39YL32HraNWzj3HHvVhQ?si=QdmoYUSQQBurPhvwUlt3bQ

Wednesday, September 8th

After sharing a kiss, the previous weekend, Catra and Adora didn't talk. The rest of the night they sat on opposite ends of the room flustered and confused by what had just happened, but they refuse to talk about it. It turns out that Catra has slipped the lime in her mouth, she had wanted to kiss Adora.

Catra looked down at her hands, muttering to herself about something, she wasn't in the mood to play anymore and quit the game after another round. Adora kept getting weird glances from her friends, but they didn't ask any questions either. She wanted to keep playing, but decided against it, she was drunk enough, and as inappropriate thoughts flooded her head she didn't want to do anything with anyone, except for with Catra. 

They didn't talk for the rest of the night, but instead just looked intensely at each other, soft smiles and looks that were enough to make your heart melt. If it weren't for the few negative interactions they had in the past, Adora would have gotten up and sat right next to her, but it wasn't her place, body shots and a drunk make out session was enough for one night. 

She didn't regret what happened, it wasn't something she was expecting. If Adora hadn't continued to lick up Catra's stomach would she have wanted to kiss her? Would the night still have ended in confusion? These were all questions that Adora had and wanted to be answered, but not that night, not when the two of them were too drunk to comprehend feelings.

Adora left before Catra did and as she stood she watched hungry eyes scan her body , she wished so badly that she could take Catra' right then and there. She didn't think that night about what would happen next for them, about what would happen the next time she was supposed to see her, and it didn't even phase her in the morning. 

When she woke, she hadn't forgotten a single thing, she remembered the body shot, the messy make out, and the desire to have Catra within her grasp. She was naked, but at least in her own bed. She'd checked her phone, just in case Catra had sent her a message, but there was nothing. Not that she was expecting her to, but it would have been nice.

That morning, Glimmer and Bow avoided making any conversation about the previus night that related to Catra and instead talked about the different ridiculous dates people had to do. Mermista having to shower in all of her clothes and sing along to 'Shower' by Becky G; Scorpia, the woman that had been kissing Catra, had to eat a dead cricket, which for some unknown reason, Seahawk conveniently stored in his backpack. Adora didn't put it past him though, weird guys do weird stuff.

Even though, Catra was supposed to come to Adora's dorm to work on the project, she never did. She did at least have the courtesy to send her a message saying she woke up feeling awful, so it was better if she didn't come over. Inside Adora knew it had to do with the kiss, but figured it was better, she definitely wouldn't have been able to concentrate.

Monday came and Catra didn't make any snarky comments or clapback's at Adora. She stayed quiet and focused on the paper that was sitting in front of her. Not even her friends that were in the class had tried to bother her. Professor Trouble seemed especially put down by the lack of drama between Catra and Adora. They would wait a couple of seconds after Adora would give a comment to make sure Catra wouldn't pipe in and then gave a very small frown. Catra left before the class had ended, probably to avoid running into Adora.

Now it was Wednesday and with no additional words from Catra, Adora couldn't take it anymore. She made sure to get to class early. Not that Catra would have gotten there before Professor Trouble started lecturing, but she needed to figure out what was going on. She waited in the back of the room, refusing to take her seat until she saw where Catra went. 

Right before class, Adora saw Catra's friends walk in, but for once Catra wasn't trailing behind them.

_She was probably just running late._

A few more minutes passed and there was still no sign of Catra, at this point Professor Trouble was ready to start the lesson. _Did she really care to not even show up?_

"Would you care to take a seat Adora?" Professor Trouble addressed her, causing the entire class to draw attention to her.

She felt herself go flush and quickly took the nearest seat, her mind wandering elsewhere. She tried to focus, the lesson was something about chaos theory and how although complex could be directly related and applied to art, but she kept going back to that night. Had everything been ruined? After all the work and progress that the two of them had made to grow closer once more, had it been ruined?

Adora check her phone, hoping Catra would ask her to take notes for her since she would see her on Saturday for them to continue their project, but she didn't.

The class had only been going on for fifteen minutes and knew her mind would be occupied until she got to the bottom of it. She didn't take anything out, so she just grabbed her backpack and left the room. She had never left class like that before, was a girl even worth all the trouble of missing class? Her head told her no, but her heart couldn't imagine a life without her, a life without Catra wasn't one she wanted to live anymore. 

She didn't have much of a plan, but she knew that she was going to march right up to Catra's dorm and talk to her. She was afraid of the possible rejection, but knew that confrontation would be the only way to get her feelings forward and it may be the last chance she had to tell them.

Thoughts raced in her head, trying to collect something to say to her when she arrived. She couldn't flat out tell her about how she never lost the feelings for Catra and after one measly kiss it wasn't something she wanted to give up. She also knew that she couldn't tell Catra that after this semester she wanted to keep in touch, she needed something more than that, some that she could have more assurance in. It wasn't until she had knocked on Catra's door that she knew even a small idea of what she would say. 

Her heart was pounding, what if Catra didn't answer, what if this was a mistake, what if they were better off as strangers. 

But it was too late to run, Catra opened the door. Her eyes were wide, the last thing she had expected was Adora on her doorstep.

"Adora- What are you doing here, shouldn't you be in class?" She had a nervous tone, one that Adora knew all too well. 

"Shouldn't _you_ be in class Catra?" Catra just looked at her, her eyes just as soft as they had been after they kissed.

"Touché"

"We need to talk, right now." Catra stepped out of the doorway and let Adora into her room.

They both walked into Catra's room, it was a mess. Like everything that she had ever owned was thrown about her room and out of place, she had clearly had a rough couple of days. Adora could hardly breathe, yeah Catra let her in, but she could still reject whatever Adora proposed of her. She shouldn't even use the word propose, it makes it seem like she wants a profession relationship, which they already had and Adora wanted more.

Instead of sitting across the room from each other like they always did, Catra had sat on the bed right next to Adora, just like they had when they were kids. It was the first time since Adora moved that they had been this close, aside from their kiss.

"Why didn't you come to class?" Adora pondered

"I didn't think you'd notice if I didn't show up, I just, I needed time for myself away from everyone. Even my friends. My mind has been everywhere lately and I just-" She stopped herself and then chuckled, "Why am I even telling you this?"

Adora could feel Catra slipping from her grasp. She was right there, so close to finally letting loose and seeing Adora like she possibly had before and then just went away.

"No, no... it's okay, I'm still here for you. I promised I always would be," Catra went quiet, like someone had hit pause on the remote and everything in the scene had frozen in place.

There were several moments of silence. They had fought over promises once before, but this time there as no fighting, but there was no relief in it either. 

"I want more than this," Adora broke the silence, knowing that there was no other way to say it.

"What...?" Catra had a genuine look of confusion on her face.

"I want us to be more than just a semester. I don't want a relationship that ends when the semester is over, one that the second we finish that project we forget each other like anything that ever happened between us never happened. I don't want to become a stranger again,"

Catra didn't say anything, she was looking at Adora blankly. She needed more than that, Catra had to give her something.

"Frankly Catra, my life is black and white without you in it. Even if it's you bickering back to me in class or doing things just to get my attention, there is so much more color in my life and I don't want to lose that, I don't want to lose you," She had hardly noticed that she had reached out and placed her hand on Catra's arm.

This time Catra didn't shy away, she looked at where Adora hand was and was blushing, it made Adora's heart melt. She still stayed quiet, _maybe this was all for nothing_.

"Please say something, anything." Catra took a deep breath and looked at Adora again, this time with more joy in her eyes.

"I don't want to be a stranger either,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and the infamous writer is finally back. I have no explanation other than, i've had a rough go around. i moved out and away from home to go to school and it was extremely hard on me and took a lot of my time away. i had no motivation and no drive to do anything. i wanted to come back to this, yet i was so afraid that if I came back it would be a waste, but to those of you who are still here, that are still reading. this one is for you. a couple nights ago, i had drank a bang energy drink far to late into the night and it kept me up through the late hours of the night and got the creativity flowing. it was the first time in a while that i had the want to write something for pleasure.
> 
> i can't say how often the updates will be, the rest of the fic is planned out, there are 18 more chapters and i'm challenging myself to finish before the initial publish date of this fic. so on or before May 20th, you will get your ending. that's roughly 2-3 chapters a week, but we will see how things go. i believe in myself and really want to finish this fic out! it would be a big accomplishment for me.
> 
> i hope everyone is doing well, if you have any questions or just wanna make conversation, leave a comment :) keeps me going.
> 
> till the next one  
> \- R


End file.
